Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Thanka Yu So Naise


It's really weird that I was sure I'd never play Nintendo DS. I should have known that sooner or later Nintendo was going to release something for the system that I would not be able to resist. In fact, that happened a few months ago when they put out Tetris DS. I love that game in a way... that is possibly unhealthy. And now, the bastards have gone and done it again. Now they've released New Super Mario Brothers.

I didn't even know how much I had missed that damn mustachioed plumber and his 2d platforming adventures until I started that first level and all of a sudden I was 10 years old again. I swear that first level HAS to be an homage to the first SMB. The navigation system (where you move mario and decide what level you want to enter) is clearly from SMB 3. They've even included multiple exit points and a hell of a lot of short cuts to other levels as in Super Mario World (my personal favorite).

But of course... things weren't exactly as I remembered them. I'm pretty sure Mario didn't use to eat a large mushroom that could make him the size of the entire screen and allow you to smash through brick walls. Or if you prefer a more subtle approach to your gaming, they've included a mini-mushroom. This does, essentially, the opposite of the giant mushroom. It makes you smaller than regular Mario and your regular jumps become useless against normal sized enemies. As in SMB 3 the designers have included a suit. This time it's that of a turtle. Get a running start and Mario becomes the same kind of destructive turtle shell as any other.

Oh ... how I love New Super Mario Brothers. And yet... there are some things that bug me.
First, what the hell is going on at Nintendo? Did the person that used to name their products quit or die or something? Not only do we have to deal with the worst console name of all time (Nintendo Wii), but now THIS. NEW Super Mario Brothers? Couldn't someone be bothered to come up with a better name than that? "So what's the name of the new super mario brothers game you guys are working on? Oh... New Super Mario Brothers?" At least pretend you care, guys!
Second, where's my damn Yoshi?! I know most people don't like Yoshi because he's the SMB equivalent of Jar-Jar, but c'mon! Enslaving lizard creatures for my transportational uses was one of my favorite things in Mario World. I need that back. Especially in the more annoying levels where I could just grab a blue turtle shell and fly the hell out of there. Whooo!
Third, where's my jaunty yellow cape?! Or at least my Racoon Tail? There is no flying at all in this game. Yeah, there are a few ramps that spin you and cause you to float slowly downward and mini-mario does float gently... but that's not the same! I need to fly!

Reguardless, New SMB is a damn good game. Feels a bit short, though. If you ignore all the warps and shortcuts you could probably finish the whole game in about 10 hours. If you take all the shortcuts you could probably be done in 1 hour. This is assuming you've not played this specific game before. I bought the game on a Friday evening and was done before the end of the weekend. That was a bit surprising.

Oh. In case your wondering, the title of this post refers to what Mario says when he gets to the end of every level. I honestly have no idea what he's trying to say but it sounds like "Thank You. So Nice." I don't know why. Crazy Italians.